The title could be better, I know, please accept my apologies. Far form being a suggestion to happily (and not-so) married fathers to hit the dating trail, it just sounds catchier. And by numbering them, we’re allowed to add more 🙂
And that’s about as it easy as it gets. Being a single dad hovering around middle-age and looking to date isn’t cool. So here are some ways to deal with it.
- At this age your mates aren’t likely to have a wide network of appropriate, single friends to introduce you to. So even if you are lucky enough to be in a home environment – or a least a place in which you have had time to establish a social network – digital dating is probably you’re only option. Which isn’t a bad thing. ‘cos you really don’t want to be trawling bars.
- Tinder ! Don’t waste your money on a dating internet site. It’s time-consuming, expensive and receiving constant ‘notifications’ via your email server becomes intensely irritating – because it’s an App, you look at it if you wish. It doesn’t bug you. Rather subscribe to something like Tinder. Any negative preconceptions I had were fast dispelled when I joined, and I can say with hand-on-my-heart confidence that there are extremely appropriate matches.
- Exercise ! For your sanity, especially if you’re battling with an unreasonable or mentally unwell ex-partner for your children, you need a physical outlet. A 30 minute work-out on a boxing bag leaves you feeling fantastic – once you’ve learnt how to ‘jab-jab, jab-cross-jab-cross’ etc, you can do it in your sleep. It’s so addictive that I really feel the need to do just that when I pass one (boxing bag) – if not hanging in your garage, they’re bound ot feature in your gym. Cross-fit type training is recommended; join a couple classes, and once you’ve got it, do it yourself. And most important – stretch !!!! It’s the best and probably exercise to work against the negative-effects of ageing. Old people shuffling along don’t have to move like that – their ligaments seized up through simple lack of stretching, which explains the popularity of yoga, and the relative suppleness of those regular practitioners. And mix up your exercise if you can; ride, run, swim. All people should make the time to do this. – just like your car, your body needs to be serviced.
- Get out there ! Difficult if you’re an introvert, but do what you can. It’s good for you, it’s been scientifically tested – which isn’t that surprising as Masters students are running out of things for their theses. http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/03/dangers-too-much-alone-time
- There are even Meet Up groups for introverts. We’ve got one for Cape Town, so if you are in a city there’s bound to be something for you. As in ‘Mature’ hiking groups, or Pop-Up Wine Clubs. These are not dating sites, but they get you out there with like-minded people. And you may just get lucky anyway, although I’ve come to see luck as having nothing to do with such significant events… http://www.meetup.com/find/
Please remember, feedback is appreciated. I’ll always do my best to respond asap, as this will be a work in progress…